leaving this place...

uha I can hardly wait... tomorrow around this time, i'll see him again! mmm Nice... he told me earlier that he would have the champain chilled byt the time i get there... just in case we wanted a glas of bubblewater... so sweet! hmm actually he has said a lot of really nice things lately and even better, done a lot of nice things... small things, but hey it's all in the details!! so i'm very happy, i feel good and i can hardly wait to see him, only thing i wish for right now is that time for next 24hours will pass quickly! i fly in the evening, so i made sure i have a lot ofthings to do tomorrow! not too much to do, but just enough to keep me busy...
oh well i also have some things i need to do tonight, so i'll get to it, get it out the way and then hopefully i can sleep a little early... that would be many nice!!!

hurra i'm alive... it feels good to be me!!! NICE!!

take care and have fun, enjoy the summer!
*Ninon

Sunshiny day...

I had a great day...
CPH is beautiful when the trees are green and the sun is shining...
Jubiii I have a great friend to spend a day like today with!!!
mmm fantastic to be able to go to bed tired, but happy and very pleased!
I love life...

Copenhagen...

well eh back in Copenhagen...
Actually been here for a little while, but eh don't really know what to tell!!
I got really sick the very same day i came back from Portugal, fever, sore throat and such.... was in bed for almost a week on penicillin... Nice coming home! but eh i guess my body was tired and maybe overworked telling me i needed a break... and eh it's difficult when at sea, you still have to perform, so eh i guess i wouldn't let myself break down. even though i didn't even know i needed it... i mean nobody needs to be sick, but as i said, it's the only way your body can tell you if you don't listen to it very carefully, and pay attention to the little hints you get along the way...

Well anyway, I'm a-okay now, but eh it took a while!
Had to go to London for a few days, with my God Mom, so I got out of bed a little too early! the first 2days, was really hard, i wasn't back on top... so i slept a lot, and actually spent an entire afternoon, just lying in the grass in Hyde Park, wrote some postcards, listened to some music and just looked at the sky. trying very hard not to think too much about anything! it was very nice and i really enjoyed it... So I had a great time in London!
Back in Copenhagen i felt better but was still a bit tired, cause i hadn't eaten properly in more than a week! It was very new to me, not wanting to eat anything... i love food! but i just didn't feel like eating anything, and when i forced myself to do it, it had to have as little taste as possible! BORING! It's a lot better now, i think i got my appetite back, kinda!
Sunday was my birthday, i had invited my family to lunch... and had a little surprise for them! A good friend offered to take us sailing for a while... So we had the coffee and the Birthday cake somewhere in the canals of CPH in a little blue water taxi... it was great, and a really nice way to be with the family, when i saw it coming under the bridge, my face turned dark red, it was all decorated with balloons and flags and they sang birthday songs for me... while a lot of strangers on the quay was looking and cheering... i think they where a bit jealous! I understand why and I was of course very happy.
it was a beautiful day, and when we got on board the sun peeped trough the clouds so we had sunshine the entire trip... 5min after we got off, the sun disappeared in a big grey cloud!
Everybody really enjoyed it and said it was fantastic day... so I'm happy, all i wished for, a nice day with the family.

Yesterday i sent my mom to Bangkok, she's going to Cambodia and Thailand for 2months... So tonight is the first night in ages that I'm all alone... i haven't really been all on my own since Mexico... oh not true i had 2 nights in Faro just a while ago... hehe i completely forgot. hmm i guess I've missed it. I've noticed how much i need being all alone... i treasure the time i spent alone, most of the time. sometimes it's just boring of course... when i think about it, i think i treasure the moments where i choose to be alone. right now I've chosen to be alone, chosen to just sit here, listen to music and write this, tomorrow i can call somebody and choose not to be alone! I'm not to fund of being alone when it's not by choice... i guess that makes me feel a bit lonely... but eh right now, I'm definitely not lonely, right now i enjoy being all on my own! it's good for me, a way to charge my batteries, so I'm ready to face the world and other people, when i choose to go out or let somebody in!

I'm basically just waiting to leave this damn country again... 5 more days! there's this sweet guy waiting for me in Holland, so what I'm doing here is a bit of a mystery to me... No not totally true, there's people i want to see and talk to... But since I'm home on such a short visit, i made very few plans and I have been very selective with who i wanted to spend time with. I know i don't have the time to see everybody, so no reason to even try!
My leave is the time to relax, take it easy and recharge, it's vacation for me, so i don't wanna be totally stressed out and make so many plans that i don't have enough time for the persons that means the most. so eh i guess that some might feel a bit left out, I'm sorry for that, I don't want to hurt anybodies feelings, I just have to take care of myself, and anyway I'm no fun to be with if my mind is already at the next appointment... If i make an appointment with somebody i don't want to have to run off 15minutes later to meet up with somebody else. So unfortunately i don't have the time to see all the people i want to this time... but eh I'm back soon.

oh well it's running late and i should go to bed, even though i tried so hard not to have too many plans, i think I'll be a bit busy tomorrow. but it's all nice stuff i have to do so eh it's not too bad!
I'm tired and a bit cold so my "dyne" (duvet) is very tempting...

mmm the soundtrack for "JUNO" is many nice, it's very chilled and relaxing, almost as good as good hour of night radio... saw the movie yesterday, what a feel good movie, with some great lines and fantastic soundtrack... I'll put it on and fall a sleep to it... ah many nice!!!

oh well goodnight and ... it's not about luck, it's a skill game!!!
*Ninon

Back in Europe...

Hmm I'm tired...
been off for a few days, now in a hostel in Faro, Portugal.... killing a few hours before i head for the airport! thought it was about time i updated my blog, just in any case somebody is actually reading it... (thank you Steen for all the nice comments!)
it was a semi-boring crossing. we motored most of the way or so it seems... damn global warming! normally we would have had fair winds... blowing from west to east, but eh for some dark reason, we had head winds or no winds...! so we went very far north to stay out of some bad weather, we managed to do so, and to set a few sails... but eh it was nothing like we expected... we even at one point set stunsails! at one point we had every little piece of canvas flying. but apart from the sailing or lack of sailing if you please, it was one the best crossings I've ever done. the atmosphere was great all the way, nobody had the notorious Mid-Atlantic mental breakdown, i had a great watch, they we're all cheerful and hard working, and they made my life/job very easy by thinking with me, meaning i didn't have to tell them what to do all the time. there where many times, where i could leave it all up to them and do the dishes or whatever... they even set sails without me. NICE!!! then it works... this way they learn a lot, and we can share the workload... if i had to be on deck all the time, i couldn't do my share of inside cleaning or dishes or... not that i really want to clean toilets, but eh if we can take turns with 4 in a watch instead of only 3 then it's less toilet cleaning for everybody... so eh... anyway, we had a lot of fun together, and we all learned something new!!! many nice! but it was a long crossing... about 3weeks,but when you get up 2 a day to go on watch, it seems like double up on time on board!
But eh every once in a while we saw animals... a lot of whales, dolphins, birds and even a SHARK!!! seriously, apparently the biggest in the world second only to the Great white... I was so lucky to be on the bowsprit doing some work, when we saw the fin.... it swam very slowly around us for a while... it was huge! I don't remember the name, but it has no teeth, it's a vegetarian shark! cwazy!!!
the sun was setting, a shark swam around the ship, we could hear whales breathe and some dolphins where jumping, and swallows where flying around... reminding us that we where close to land. It also reminded me of all those times where I've been staring blindly at the sea for hours, hoping to see a sign of life... it's crazy, you know that the oceans is full of life, but sometimes you see nothing, and as the other day proofs, other times you see so much at the same time that you every time you turn your head you see or hear a different animal...!
the swallows made me think of tattoo's... back in the days, when men where made of steel and ships made of wood, sailors would get a pair of swallows when they had sailed 5000NM... you always get them in pairs, for different reasons.
I'm already thinking about my next tattoo... I want a pair of swallows... I just have to find the right design. but i guess that will come.... i don't really need a new tattoo right now. I'm very happy with the ones i already got, and after all i had one done in Baltimore, so eh I'll wait a bit!



well now i just want to go home...

I've been away for what seems like forever, and it's so close now... in a few hours I'll be on my way to the airport... NICE!!
but eh i got the most out of my 2days here... had some tip money left over from the cruises we did in the Caribbean. had decided to use them when i found a place to live, hopefully in Amsterdam, but eh i spent some of them to do something good for myself... so i spent 6hours in a SPA today.... aaaaah that was great!!! the full works... face, feet, massage, body scrub in CHOCOLATE!!! and i finished it all off with a haircut...
it was great, i really enjoyed it... it was nice with a little ego trip, and since I'm here alone... i can do whatever i want...
and i figured that doing that would be cheaper than walking around town... and it definitely makes me feel a lot better than a new pair of shoes and i don't need more things, i need a place to put all the stuff i already got...!!!

anyway, I'm now writing just to keep stay awake... which i should 'cause if i fall asleep now, i don't think I'll wake up in time for my flight. and this little cookie just wants to go home...

but I'm out of things to say.... there's a million more stories to tell, but i can't be bothered right now... sorry, please forgive me...

*Ninon, the little cookie that wants to go home...

Crossing april 2008

Night between 19-20 April 2008 North Atlantic

We’ve only been on our way for almost 4days. But we’re already pretty beat… we’ve had a mix between no wind, lots of wind from all directions, mostly the wrong one and not a crinkle on the surface to big 2-3m waves… it means setting sail, taking them away, going aloft stowing, going up to unfurl, set them again , take them away…and so on and so on. It was okay to begin with, now I don’t care too much, I just wanna sleep! and so it has been for the last days! Right now, we have head winds, a lot of swell and rain!!! It is absolutely horrible, very boring and so,so tiring. We’ve had a few persons down with seasickness, even a QM and an AB, so some watches have been very “weak” the last days, which of course means a lot more work for the rest of us.
I’m okay, haven’t been seasick or anything, I’m just very,very tired and wish I could be sleeping in a hammock right now… my bunk is not super comfortable when the ship dances like she’s doing now. I’m actually on watch, but there ain’t much to do, so we’re “standing by” in the longroom, waiting for either some action or to go back to our bunks. I prefer the last! But eh that’s not gonna anytime soon, I still have more than 2hours to go…

I’ve heard many stories about how tough this crossing can be, especially since we cross so high up North, but it’s not that bad, if only we didn’t roll this much… but we’ve still got a about 2 weeks to go, so eh everything can happen, nothing is certain. I just want to get there in a hurry, so I can get off the ship and go home.

Oh well I’ll take a little powernap here on the bench… relieve the lookout in 30minutes and then I can slowly start to clean cups, brew fresh coffee and stuff like that… if i take it really easy, I can make it last an hour and by that, keep myself busy with something… anything to stay awake!!!