Copenhagen...

well eh back in Copenhagen...
Actually been here for a little while, but eh don't really know what to tell!!
I got really sick the very same day i came back from Portugal, fever, sore throat and such.... was in bed for almost a week on penicillin... Nice coming home! but eh i guess my body was tired and maybe overworked telling me i needed a break... and eh it's difficult when at sea, you still have to perform, so eh i guess i wouldn't let myself break down. even though i didn't even know i needed it... i mean nobody needs to be sick, but as i said, it's the only way your body can tell you if you don't listen to it very carefully, and pay attention to the little hints you get along the way...

Well anyway, I'm a-okay now, but eh it took a while!
Had to go to London for a few days, with my God Mom, so I got out of bed a little too early! the first 2days, was really hard, i wasn't back on top... so i slept a lot, and actually spent an entire afternoon, just lying in the grass in Hyde Park, wrote some postcards, listened to some music and just looked at the sky. trying very hard not to think too much about anything! it was very nice and i really enjoyed it... So I had a great time in London!
Back in Copenhagen i felt better but was still a bit tired, cause i hadn't eaten properly in more than a week! It was very new to me, not wanting to eat anything... i love food! but i just didn't feel like eating anything, and when i forced myself to do it, it had to have as little taste as possible! BORING! It's a lot better now, i think i got my appetite back, kinda!
Sunday was my birthday, i had invited my family to lunch... and had a little surprise for them! A good friend offered to take us sailing for a while... So we had the coffee and the Birthday cake somewhere in the canals of CPH in a little blue water taxi... it was great, and a really nice way to be with the family, when i saw it coming under the bridge, my face turned dark red, it was all decorated with balloons and flags and they sang birthday songs for me... while a lot of strangers on the quay was looking and cheering... i think they where a bit jealous! I understand why and I was of course very happy.
it was a beautiful day, and when we got on board the sun peeped trough the clouds so we had sunshine the entire trip... 5min after we got off, the sun disappeared in a big grey cloud!
Everybody really enjoyed it and said it was fantastic day... so I'm happy, all i wished for, a nice day with the family.

Yesterday i sent my mom to Bangkok, she's going to Cambodia and Thailand for 2months... So tonight is the first night in ages that I'm all alone... i haven't really been all on my own since Mexico... oh not true i had 2 nights in Faro just a while ago... hehe i completely forgot. hmm i guess I've missed it. I've noticed how much i need being all alone... i treasure the time i spent alone, most of the time. sometimes it's just boring of course... when i think about it, i think i treasure the moments where i choose to be alone. right now I've chosen to be alone, chosen to just sit here, listen to music and write this, tomorrow i can call somebody and choose not to be alone! I'm not to fund of being alone when it's not by choice... i guess that makes me feel a bit lonely... but eh right now, I'm definitely not lonely, right now i enjoy being all on my own! it's good for me, a way to charge my batteries, so I'm ready to face the world and other people, when i choose to go out or let somebody in!

I'm basically just waiting to leave this damn country again... 5 more days! there's this sweet guy waiting for me in Holland, so what I'm doing here is a bit of a mystery to me... No not totally true, there's people i want to see and talk to... But since I'm home on such a short visit, i made very few plans and I have been very selective with who i wanted to spend time with. I know i don't have the time to see everybody, so no reason to even try!
My leave is the time to relax, take it easy and recharge, it's vacation for me, so i don't wanna be totally stressed out and make so many plans that i don't have enough time for the persons that means the most. so eh i guess that some might feel a bit left out, I'm sorry for that, I don't want to hurt anybodies feelings, I just have to take care of myself, and anyway I'm no fun to be with if my mind is already at the next appointment... If i make an appointment with somebody i don't want to have to run off 15minutes later to meet up with somebody else. So unfortunately i don't have the time to see all the people i want to this time... but eh I'm back soon.

oh well it's running late and i should go to bed, even though i tried so hard not to have too many plans, i think I'll be a bit busy tomorrow. but it's all nice stuff i have to do so eh it's not too bad!
I'm tired and a bit cold so my "dyne" (duvet) is very tempting...

mmm the soundtrack for "JUNO" is many nice, it's very chilled and relaxing, almost as good as good hour of night radio... saw the movie yesterday, what a feel good movie, with some great lines and fantastic soundtrack... I'll put it on and fall a sleep to it... ah many nice!!!

oh well goodnight and ... it's not about luck, it's a skill game!!!
*Ninon