Trains...

Well eh here I am, sitting in the train, 2,5hours to go... what to do?i was looking at people... not much fun today, normally i can easely entertain my self for quite some time by just looking at people, listening to their concersations and making up stories about them, where they're going, who they are and how they are as persons. Not today, today all the "channels" are closed, i don't get anything from anybody, and actually i don't really care, i just want this train ride to pass A.S.A.P... now is the time where i wish i had a car... There's plentyof reasons why i don't have a car, and why i shouldn't get one, but right now i wish i had one... I love driving, far away if possible, especially at night... oh well *snap outta it* i don't have a car, it's not even dark yet, and news flash i'm sitting in a train... to make it even worse, in the "Family wagon" or what ever you call it... so eh a lot of mall noisy children, i usually don't care too much about it. I think the parents are more annoyed than me... Well if it would be considered okay for an adult to scream and shout because of long, boring train rides i would do the same...! what would be people do about it??? probably not much, maybe look at me strangely as if I needed medical assistance, but I don't think znybody would actually ask me, if i was okay or if they could do anything to help me out of my misery.... maybe they would find another place to sit, and secretly blink at eachother, whispering "what a loony", but i guess nobody would take 5minutes to talk to me.
I remember one train ride very clearly, a day i'll never forget. I was sitting in a train from Graasten to Copenhagen, only an hour earlier i was told that my younger brother had died. I was sitting in this train, crying my eyes and my heart out for about 5hours, randomly talking on the phone, or crying, screaming and explaining somebody in the other end what had happened. I remember there must have been at least 5-7 other persons sitting pretty close to me... One of them, a middle-aged woman, sat right across me for 5hours and not even looking at me... she did every thing she could to pretend i wasn't there... i've rarely felt so alone and alienated. surrounded by strangers who all work so hard to pretend you're not there... did i break the unwritten rule of not showing feelings in public spaces??
mmm oh well i gotta go... i'm almost there... jubiii
*Ninon